Short, to the point, and the exact reason for Brian's fund

Mr. McCormick:

I wanted to thank you for your generosity. Without people like you, I wouldn’t be able to continue my Xavier education.

Thank you very much.

Name withheld

I'm Engaged!

I'm freshly engaged to my girlfriend of three years, Marion, and I know Brian is looking down and smiling at me right now. Brian and I enjoyed the best and worst of times together in our fifteen year friendship and I truly feel incomplete not being able to share this special experience with him.

I'm without a best friend and a best man for my wedding and I miss him dearly.

Brian helps out two (including a Rugby player!)

Dear Mr. McCormick:

Thank you so much for your family’s generosity. Recently I became worried about being able to pay my tuition at Xavier University. I was able to go to Mr. Adrian Schiess and he helped me through your family’s fund. My family and I were tremendously relieved to receive that aid. I cannot thank you enough for what you have done.

Sincerely,

Name withheld


Hi Mr. McCormick,

I am a student at Xavier and today I had an appointment with Adrian Schiess in the retention center. I mentioned to him that I am on the Women's Rugby team and he shared with me your brother’s story and the donation your family made. Your generosity had contributed to my bill at Xavier, allowing my mother to cut back on the long hours she had been working this past year to pay my school bill. I am certain Brian is glad he helped out a fellow Rugger! I know you do not know me but I just wanted to let you know how you have helped me out!!

Thank you, thank you,

Name withheld

Don't cry because it's over. Smile because it happened. ~Theodor Seuss Geisel

News Flash! My Mom found Brian's actual Mother Day Card!

FRONT COVER:

“Mom, friendship doesn’t always happen between mothers and sons…

But, I’m really glad it happened between us.”

INSIDE CARD, ON LEFT:

“I realize there were times when it may have been difficult for you to accept my decision to become a woman.

But you let me borrow all the clothes and makeup I needed before the operation.”

INSIDE CARD, ON RIGHT:

“On Mother’s Day I want to say thanks for your love, help, and understanding.

You’re a wonderful mother and a wonderful friend.

I just want you to know I really do love you all the way to Ireland, Hong Kong, and Tennessee.

Thanks again for everything and I love you a lot. I love you!”

BACK COVER:

“By Brian Dargin Patrick Richard Jerome Reed Seamus McCormick”

How many people in this world would actually give the above card to their mother? Yep, only one!

Two years

“The new normal” began for us two years ago today. It still does not seem real. Yet, it is. This terrible day is like reliving an accident. Time seems to slow down to milliseconds. Everything in replayed via quick flashes and certain detailed memories. Feelings, thoughts, and actions stand out. Reliving that day is like a scary movie that is all too real. Many times I wanted to say “Please God, make this stop. Bring him back! Please hit the ‘reset’ button.” Unfortunately we can’t change time and magically bring Brian back. However, we have learned to live without his physical presence these last two years.

The only way I get through tough days like today is to “bring Brian back” via some great memories of him. As I told my Dad last night, I know we will all think about this day two years ago and shed a tear. We will go through our rituals, pray for him, and think of “what could have been?” Brian does not want us to focus on things that cannot be changed and the associated negative energy. He would want us to remember him at his happiest, when he was laughing so hard he cried, when he hummed while eating the most expensive thing on the menu - and of course - whenever Xavier beats UD (which is often)!

Somebody once said “the worst sin is to be boring.” Brian was a sinner.  But, he was never boring!  He was such a part of our lives and influenced everyone he met. Brian wanted to be different, had tremendous energy, and everyone that met him instantly knew there was only one Brian McCormick in the world. They never, ever, forgot him!

So, how shall we remember Brian today? What comes into your mind when you think of him? I bet it is his smile. How deeply he loved his family, friends, and Xavier. Or, something he did that was so incredibly stupid, ballsy, or hilarious that you burst out loud laughing! Laugh with Brian today. Smile for him and tell those you love why you love them. Pull a prank on someone. Tell a “Brian story” to a friend who needs a laugh. Be Brian today and everyday (well maybe not every day, because many of us have to work)! Whatever you do, do not be boring!

The one good thing to come from Brian’s death has been the tremendous outpouring of love and support from our friends and family. Thank you! It is humbling and more than we ever expected. We have also tried to focus mainly on “what is truly important?” Family and friends always win!

Brian’s love of his family was well known. Most of the time, Brian used humor to “demonstrate his love.” Brian loved to make our Mom laugh. For Mother’s Day, he went to the Hallmark Card store at Towne & Country shopping center in the mid ‘90’s. He ask the 80 year old clerk to help him make a “do it yourself” Mother’s Day card. She asked him “what message do you want inside the card?” Brian thought a moment and started speaking slowly. He said “Mom, I know sometimes we do not always see eye to eye.” The 80 year old started typing and repeated his first phrase. Brian continued; “However, I know our love is strong and your support of me has been amazing.” The clerk looked down, typed, and mumbled “…support of me has been amazing.” Then, Brian finished the card’s message by speaking the following very deliberately; “Especially since I have decided to become a woman.” The 80 year old stopped typing. Slowly looked up at him and was stone faced. Brian waited a moment and did not crack a smile. He then said; “oh yeah, put ‘love Brian’ on there as well.” We howled with laughter when he gave the card to our Mom and told how the card was made. She loved it as well. Man, he loved to make us all laugh.

On a different note, I asked Patrick a few weeks ago about what he remembered about his Uncle Brian. Patrick thought a moment, looked a little sad, and said: “Uncle Brian was the best hugger ever.”

That’s how I will remember Brian today. The funniest person I know and “the best hugger ever.”

I know he would love making you laugh today. Brian would also give you a great big hug. Let him.

Love and miss you Brian!

Brian, the Maisonette and the Viking helmet

Brian would have been 35 today. It is tough to imagine him getting older. In my mind (and many others) Brian never viewed himself as an adult. He thought – and often acted – like a “big kid.” Man, he would have hated getting grey hair and would have joked that he “needed a new rug.”

One of Brian’s best birthdays was 14 years ago when he turned 21. My parents had treated me and several of my friends to a great dinner at The Precinct when I turned 21. (We had a great time and Brian ordered a “Tanqueray and Tonic” like a pro even though he was only 16.) Brian, naturally, wanted a similar experience and upped the ante by requesting we go to the Maisonette. At the time, the Maisonette was the best restaurant in Cincinnati and maintained a five star Mobil ranking longer than any other restaurant in the US. In short, it was the best of the best.

Brian invited several of his friends. There were so many of us, we had to use the upstairs party room (near the flags in the photo) that was used by then President Clinton for a fund raiser only one hour before our dinner. We had a sublime meal filled with great conversation and laughter. Brian got mad at me when I asked one of his lady friends “what the hell are you going to do with a French degree?” I honestly do not know if he ever forgave me for “embarrassing him like that?” (Did Brian really, ever, get embarrassed?) Brain played the role of host, court jester, and practically licked his plate after devouring all the great food. He was humming and in his glory.

The funniest thing of the evening occurred when we were leaving. My parents, Susan, and I watched Brian’s friends pile in his blue/green Saturn POS. They were dressed to the nines, just ate at one of the nation’s best restaurants and acting cool. They pulled away and we followed. We noticed Brian had several things on the back “deck” of his Saturn’s rear window. The most prominent object was a rather large, plastic Viking helmet with horns.

We burst out loud at the contrast between a person who could eat at the Maisonette and also wear a Viking helmet with horns. I doubt the valets saw many Viking helmets and exactly zero other Maisonette patrons had similar headgear! This memory personifies Brian to me. Humor was always in his mind no matter what he was doing and that he was his own person.

It is tough to believe where we were 14 years ago. What a great memory. What a great brother.

Happy birthday Brian!

Help our Muskies and our nation today!

ST. PATRICK'S DAY

As you very well know St. Patrick's Day was Brian's absolute favorite holiday and we celebrated the event with Irish Pride every year. In college, Brian would spring for a box of cheap champagne and we'd have the best house party on campus. After graduation we made road-trips to Chicago to party for the weekend in the Windy-City with our fellow XU grads Johnny Personette and Dan Brice for four years straight and those times were the most memorable (probably for the lack of cheap champagne.) This holiday is always tough on all of us because it reminds us of Brian and the joy he brought to all who knew him.
Last night in memory of my best friend Brian Dargin McCormick, I dedicated a toast to him on stage during break for our sold out Sublime tribute band concert. 1300 people all joined me in pouring out a sip of drink for our friends and family that are no longer with us and we will continue to love and miss very much.

Nags Head Trip

A few photos from a family trip to Nags Head celebrating Joanna's graduation from college.

I think it's one of the very rare photos of Brian outdoors with his shirt off working on what Matt likes to call his "savage Irish tan."

Patrick's Baptism

These are some pictures I found of Brian and the McCormicks at Patrick's Baptism. Notice Brian's ever-present goofy grin.

I remember he arranged for a bagpiper to play as the family walked out of the church. Nice memories.