"A Christmas Story"

Christmas Eve is a sacred time for most families – especially ours. The McCormick family usually spends it by going to Mass around 5 PM and then having the Gunnoe’s over to my parent’s house around 7. We usually gorge on 873 pounds of food, have a few drinks and exchange some often hilarious white elephant gifts. It is a glorious time honored tradition (like Justin eating a whole loaf of pumpkin bread by himself every year!) and it is usually one of our best days of the year.

One of our favorite things to do every Christmas Eve is watch "A Christmas Story." For the two people in the world who have not seen this 1983 movie, it is about a young boy (Ralphie) and his quest for a Red Ryder BB gun. Many consider it one of the best “Christmas” movies ever and it is shown for 24 hours on TBS.

One of the best scenes revolves around Ralphie's friends Flick and Schwartz debating whether a person's tongue will actually stick to a frozen flagpole. Schwartz ultimately issues Flick a "triple dog dare" and shames Flick into answering their question. Flick's tongue subsequently gets stuck to the pole. Again, this is hilarious family fun that means “Christmas” to the McCormick’s!

One cold day when I was 13 and Brian 8, we brought "A Christmas Story" to 933 Lawnwood Avenue! As many of you know, my parent’s house has wrought iron railings around the front steps. After discussing "A Christmas Story," I told Brian that this was a “movie trick” and there was “no way” someone could get their tongue stuck on a pole. I told him “go ahead and stick your tongue on the railings. You’ll see.”

Brian then walked with quite determination to the railings outside. He waited a second and proceeded to stick his tongue on the cold, iron railing. It was just like the movie. Brian at first thought it did not stick, and like Flick, become rapidly terrified as he realized his tongue was now stuck to the railing! He began screaming and asking for “Helff! Hellf! ” I, of course, laughed and thought this was quite funny. I even went inside and shut the door. As I walked in my Dad said “where’s your brother?” I told him “he's outside and his tongue is stuck on the railing.” He said “what?” in a startled/surprised manner and ran to the door. Brian was squirming on the railing like Flick and wildly flailing his arms. My Dad said “wait right here while I go get some hot water” (Where was he going to go?) I continued to laugh like a big brother should. As my Dad passed me by I realized the most appropriate way to fix this situation – and Brian. I proceed to give Brian a swift and forceful kick in the ass which caused him to move rapidly to his left. His tongue immediately (and my guess painfully) popped off the railing. For some reason he was NOT happy!

My Dad finally came back with the water. He saw Brian’s tongue was off the railing and asked “what the hell happened?” Brian mumbled (while holding his tongue with his fingers) “Matt kicked me off.” My Dad was not pleased and said “why did you do this? Didn’t you know this would happen?” I said “Dad, how did I know he would be that stupid?” It was one of the few times in my Dad’s life that I stunned him into silence. He thought for a few seconds, smiled and said “yeah, I guess I could see your point.” Brian wanted my persecuted for war crimes, but I was never really punished. For some reason, Brian really did not like this story being told too often. But, much later, even he thought it was quite funny.

Brian would love sitting on my parent’s couch and watch this movie. Brian would be surrounded by family and have a drink in one hand, “barf dip” in the other. He would say “now it is really Christmas.” I always think about Brian when “A Christmas Story” is mentioned or appears on TV. It is a great movie whose scenes are now fond Christmas memories for many. I also can’t help to laugh and remember when Brian and I reenacted one of the movie’s best scenes. I just wish I could watch Brian’s reaction one more time as I embarrass him once againb in front of all our family by retelling our “Christmas Story.”

Love and miss you always Brian.

Merry Christmas to you and yours.

Don’t poke your eye out!

Leslie Nielson, the Naked Gun and his laugh

Leslie Nielsen passed away today. He appeared in some of the funniest movies of all time like Airplane and the Naked Gun trilogy. Brian and I loved these hilarious movies and his subtle, deadpan wit.

His passing brought me back to the premiere of the first Naked Gun movie. Brian and I were excited to watch it and had to sit near the front of the sold out theatre. We loved it and never laughed so hard in our lives! We got EVERY joke and laughed harder than anyone in the theatre. We were repeatedly told to “shut up” – but we could just not help ourselves. Brain and I were simultaneously laughing out loud (real loud), crying and stuffing massive amounts of pop corn into our mouths. We did not even have any beers!

The famous movie critic Roger Ebert called great films “parking lot movies.” Meaning, were you talked in the parking lot and reviewed the great moments of the flick you just watched. I doubt “The Naked Gun” is on Ebert’s best “parking lot movies” list. But, it sure is on ours! (This is what passes for Irish “culture!”)

I can hear Brian’s outlandish laugh in my mind. He is almost crying, than he sighs and says “oh my side hurts” and “Tito, get me a tissue.”

Many would be surprised to say Leslie Nielson was partly responsible for one of your life’s greatest memories. Those who know Brian and I are really not.

Thanks Leslie for making many of us laugh at loud and for helping me remember a great memory of Brian. It is great to hear his mischievous laugh once again. Think of him laughing when you watch the following:

The Naked Gun Trilogy's funniest moments

White Boy

Brian was notorious for swimming in a t-shirt because his "pasty white body" would scare everyone off. He surprised us all when the shirt came off during my bachelor party fishing charter.

And of course, the smile we all miss.

My Brother Bobby & Halloween

If you knew Brian at all, and it's safe to assume you do because you're reading his blog, then you knew his sense of humor was absolutely wicked. When Brian would tell a joke he observed no boundaries and no level of taste. And more often than not each joke began with looking over your shoulder.

What I'm about to tell you is Brian's "special joke" that he cooked up and brought me in on as his accomplice while we were seniors at Xavier. The name of this joke is called "My Brother Bobby" and after several successful trial runs back and forth we ironed out each others parts and we drunkenly debuted it late Halloween night in 1996to Jen Ohl and another girl named Cecily in the back of Jen's Toyota Camry.

This joke is seriously crass so stop reading now if you're easily offended. Ok then. This is how it went down...

Brian: You know, Halloween really makes me miss my younger brother, Bobby.
Craig: Aww, Brian! You never talk about Bobby anymore so how is he?
Brian: Oh, he's doing pretty good. He's been busy lately with a lot of arts & crafts, but he always takes time to write me a letter each week so that makes me happy.
Cecily: That is so sweet! Brian, I never knew you had a younger brother.
Jen: I thought Matt was your only brother?
Brian: Well I don't talk about him too much because sometimes I just get too embarrassed.
Cecily: Why would you ever be embarrassed of your brother? Is he in jail or something?
Craig: No, he's not in jail. He's just special is all.
Cecily: That is nothing to be embarrassed of!
Brian: I know. I know. Well he wrote me a really fun letter this week and it made me smile so that's cool. Do you want to hear what he wrote me?
Cecily: Yes!
Jen: Definitely.
Brian: - Brian launches into a crazy voice of a disabled kid and pretends to read aloud a fake letter about how he misses Brian and can't wait until Thanksgiving.

I'm literally crying with laughter at this point, not believing we went through with it, and worst of all, we stupidly told it to two of the hotter girls we knew!

I look over at Cecily who is just staring at Brian. The whole car gets quiet. then Cecily looks over at Brian with these beautiful blue, glassy eyes and says "that is the most special thing ever. I have a brother who has down-syndrome too and his love is so important to me."

Brian and I just look at each other, stunned.

“Family is number one important thing in someone’s life”

Susan and I celebrate our 15th anniversary today. It does not feel like 15 years. In fact, it seems like we were married only a few years ago. It was an amazing day. Brian had mono, looked like crap, and ended up partying like a rock star till the wee morning hours. In fact, he went into Flanagan’s pub near UD in his tux and told all the Halloween partiers that he just got married and his wife was passed out in the limo. The chicks did not really like it that he was hitting on them so hard (considering they thought he just got married!) Funny, but ineffective dating strategy Brian!

When I reflect back on that wonderful day, I could not help but smile at the memory of Brian’s “Best Man” toast. As you can see from the video, Brian was a natural ham and enjoyed speaking in front of the crowd. You can also tell he completely made up his speech as he went along! Though Brian hardly ever prepared, I was amazed at his message and poise for a 20 year old in front of 300+ people. He spoke from his heart and warmly welcomed Susan into our family. He got the crowd to laugh by touting me as “one of his role models” and mentioned how much he looked up to me. Reflecting upon his speech 15 years later, I could not help but think “what would have Brian said had he prepared?” I know in my heart Brian would have reiterated the same message.

Family was everything to Brian. He loved us dearly and enjoyed spending time with us (until his cell phone rang, received a text or had to go someplace where he was a “VIP” and supermodels were present.) He would frequently hum when he was happy. I can vividly remember him humming during Christmas Eve with the Gunnoes, watching Xavier games, or at the Sunday dinner table eating tacos. I remember his laugh.  I remember his voice.  It is glorious to hear both again. 

His speech was pure Brian - made up, passionate, filled with humor, and left you knowing exactly how he felt. Anyone who knew Brian knows how much he loved his family.

I remember the day I told Brian I asked him to be my best man. We were in my parent’s basement and he was on the couch in his patented “recline and rest” position. I walked down the stairs, saw him lying there and asked him poetically “hey, will you be my best man?” Brian’s reaction was fantastic. I could tell his brain (in his huge head) was quickly registering what I asked him. He did not really react as he slowly got up off the couch, walked silently over to me and hugged me. Brian had tears in his eyes and hugged me tight. He said “I did not think you were going to ask me.” I said “No. You are my brother. Of course you were going to be my best man. I never considered anyone else.”

Brian was my best man 15 years ago. He still is and will always be.

"Without it, I would have had my classes cancelled..."

My name is ________ and I am a junior at Xavier University. It is with great humility and thanks that I write you this letter. I recently received the Brian D. McCormick Memorial Scholarship through the university. I am writing you to thank you and your family so much for this gracious gift. Without it, I would have had my classes cancelled, and would have had extreme difficulties in continuing my Xavier education, which has been an extremely important part of my life these past few years. I feel both privileged and honored to receive this award from your family. Thank you, again, and I wish the best for you and your family into the future.

Sincerely,

Name witheld

Brian's message to my dad

Right after Brian died I remember wishing how we could get a sign from Brian that he was OK. I especially wished this for my parents.

About two weeks after that terrible day I got a call from my dad. He said he was driving up Far Hills near Centerville and was thinking about Brian. He had driven this route a thousand times and did not give the car next to him too much attention when he stopped at the light near Whipp road. My dad continued to drive and heard a horn beep. He ignored it a kept driving. It beeped again. My dad looked over and saw two twenty something girls in the next lane. They smiled and waved at my dad. My dad continued driving and heard another beep. He looked over. Saw the twenty something girl in the passenger seat. She looked at him. Smiled, and then proceed to pull her shirt up and flash my dad! My dad did a double take and laughed out loud as they sped away.

My dad called me and told me that I would never guess what happened to him. He told me the story and said he has never seen this happen. Dad also mentioned it was the first time he had a good laugh since Brian left us.

I thought a moment and laughed with him. Sure, the story was great. But, I laughed at the vision of my brother talking to St. Peter:

Brian (to St. Peter): “Hey, my Dad needs a sign from me that I am OK. This is how I want it to go down. I need a hot young chick to flash him while he is driving on Far Hills.”

St. Peter: “What? Are you sure this how you want to do this? Normally, we use sounds, feelings, dreams or something, something not as dramatic.”

Brian: “Nope. This is it. That way he will know it was from me. Because, my dad would know nobody else would send this type of message but me!”

St. Peter: “This may use up a lot of your future messages.”

Brian: “I am all in baby.”

I am certain all of us could see Brian having this conversation with St. Peter and understand that this would be perfectly logical to him.

Love and miss you Brian.

PS. I and all of your guy buddies would appreciate a “message” like this every once a while too!

Public Enemy

Brian was a big fan of all music, but especially hip-hop and rap. And on Friday night I had the great Public Enemy play my club and I know that Brian would have been right next to me for these photo ops. Miss you bro.

"Thank you so much for giving the opportunity to go back to school..."

I just received two thank you letters today from recent receiptents of Brian’s fund. Though, I receive the letters – and they thank me – I cannot help but think that Brian has a smile and somehow knows these kids are staying in school because of him.

Sho' nuff indeed!

Mr. McCormick:

I am the recent recipient of $500 from the Brian D. McCormick Memorial fund. I have been working very hard to put myself through college and these funds are a blessing.

I heard the story’s of Brian’s generosity. When I have the means, I plan to donate to Xavier to help other students in need.

I cannot thank you enough

Regards,

Name withheld, class of 2011

Mr. McCormick:

Thank you so much for giving the opportunity to go back to school. I will never forget what you have done!

Sincerely,

Name withheld

Who's the Masta? Sho Nuff

Many of Brian's favorite quotes came from a little known 80's film "The Last Dragon." When you think about his fascination with the movie it makes total sense. The movie consists of martial arts fighting, a great 80's soundtrack, a villian that goes by the "Shogun of Harlem" and a hero named "Bruce Leroy."

The quote most often used by Brian, atleast in my mind, is the shouted reply of the Shogun of Harlem's gang to his repeated question, "Who's the Masta?"
The gang would yell in reply "Sho Nuff."

This video clip gives a nice intro to what I'm talking about:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H4hKh6ZQGOE

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I think I've been doing this unconsciously for years, but whenever I'm asked a question by one of my friends in which a simple "yes" won't do, I reply "sho nuff." I looked at my texts from yesterday and I replied at least twice to questions with "sho nuff." I'm not sure if any of my friends know what I'm talking about but I hope it makes Brian laugh.

Miss you Brian.