An Apology Poem for my friend Craig L. Hammon - by Brian D. McCormick of the Back Street BOYZ

Backstory: I was dating this girl Angela (1999?) and we invited Brian and Micah "Fletch" Javier over to her place for drinks and laughs on a Saturday night sometime in October. On her doorstep sat several seasonal gourds and pumpkins and as Brian and Micah left they drunkingly decided to throw all the gords down the street, thus infuriating Angela and I got an earful for days. So Brian wrote me an apology poem which I came across today in an old folder so here we go, a taste of the clever wit and genius that was Brian D. McCormick:

An Apology Poem for my friend Craig L. Hammon - by Brian D. McCormick of the Back Street BOYZ

I am sorry
I am sorry for the loss
I am sorry for the loss because of my toss
I am sorry because Angela became so cross
at my best friend Craig, not the former VP Alexander Haig

I am wrong
Not because of the bong
or because of the band Prong
but I am wrong and that is why I write this song

I feel bad
really bad
because Craig yelled at me like my Dad
He told me Angela was hurt
Not fatal like my Nirvana brother, Kurt

Not my friend Kurt is Dead
shot himself after opening for Right Said Fred
The fateful night when the gourds were of toss
We really didn't mean to piss off, Angela, the boss

A lot of blame should be on my dear friend Fletcher
But he got the idea from that crazy sneaker ad by Sketcher
I am the one though that understands the story
Actions pile on actions just ask Mike Poiry

If I knew she would get that mad
I wouldn't have started the motion
But after two bottles of champagne
My brain didn't think about this notion
We are all older now, wise, witty, and sage
We don't need to behave like we belong in a cage

I hop we can get through this rough little patch
I totally understand if Angela won't help me get any snatch
We wish our may, we wish our might
I didn't really mean to cause a big fight

I hope you read this poem
Notions from my heart they have poured
I walso want to apologize for Micah, since he threw the first gourd
I am no hiding my little bit of guilt
But getting past negativity is how a deeper friendship is built.