Brian's birthday and yellow roses

Today is my brother’s birthday. He would have been 34.

These next 18 days will be especially difficult for me and my family. We cannot help but rewind those last events, conversations, XU games, dinners, and days from a year ago in our mind as April ninth looms. The date on calendar should not matter for we will always have a deep sadness about Brian’s death and wonder “what could have been?” It seems like the delicate band aids we now wear on our emotional wounds are slowly being ripped off. It still does not seem real - or fair - that they were our last interactions with Brian until we meet again.

It is difficult to do, but Brian would want us to focus on the positive. The things that made us laugh with (and at) him. God was he funny. I remember his unique laugh and loved it when he laughed so hard he cried and had trouble breathing. He would say “God that is funny. It hurts to laugh! Tito, get me a tissue!” Brian frequently made me and others laugh until it hurt.

He publically never liked to make a big deal about his birthday. But, he secretly loved it. As a family we would usually go out to dinner and eat a great meal – which he would leave right after he was done eating , stand up, announce “I gotta go,” and quickly leave the rest of us at the table on his way to another party. I am certain he could not wait to tell the ladies it was his birthday.

The most important lady in Brian's life was his mom. He loved her and always sent his mother a dozen yellow roses on his birthday. These are my mom’s favorite flowers. Brian loved to give my mom a ton of “guff” but also loved making her smile and frequently laugh.

A few months after Brian’s death we decided to utilize a medium in the hopes of contacting Brian. We were (and are) desperate to hear from him. We heard many interesting and fascinating things. Some messages did not connect and some did. One landed a direct hit. As we were winding up, my dad asked the medium “does Brian have a message for his mother?” We could tell the medium was a little puzzled with the response he received. Finally, he said “this is strange…but do yellow roses mean something? I am getting a picture of bunches and bunches of bouquets of yellow roses.”

Brian, your mom got the message then and I will always make sure she gets your birthday message from now on.

Love, your brother

P.S. You know Brian is loving it that Thad Matta just lost to Siena!